The Cloud Maker…

Photograph of the Joffre Cogeneration Plant – A natural gas power station owned by ATCO Power, EPCOR and Nova Chemicals. Produces 480 megawatts of power and 530 tonnes/hr. of steam.

My brother in law used to live within a ten minute drive of this place. I would always look out on a cloudless day and wonder what that huge column was rising to the east. The photo doesn’t do it’s immense size justice. The plant covers approximately three square kilometres. To drive around it is 13km on gravel roads. I don’t even want to guess how high the steam column was but it was impressive.

Stream of Consciousness Writing…Latte

The latte tastes rich, hot over tongue and beyond. Warming my insides and letting the feeling grow. The foam is light and was adorned with a leaf, which looked great till my spoon dumped a teaspoon of sugar onto it taking it to the bottom of the cup. I sipped gently, listening to the chatter around me and the jazz playing over the speakers.

I wait in anticipation. A few more sips, cooling as I go.

Finally I savour the last of it and I’m saddened to discover that the leaf is not where I hoped it to be.

So… Really…Why…Mid Life Crisis Meets Creativity – Part 3

The lightning burst from the grey overcast sky lighting up pure darkness. The air, forced out in every direction leaving only, the suffocating vacuum. I wait for deafening thunder, but it doesn’t come, only silence – GW

Thats the best way I can describe it. I had a series of events that happened and without going into detail, everything I held as dear and familiar, was blown away from me in all directions. I am waiting for them to return. Nature, Music, Photography, Spirituality, my Personal Relationships and much more. My MLC had hit it’s highest point. The pain was incredible. I oddly found that the things I took my greatest joy from had become to painful to take in. I couldn’t listen to music, pick up the guitar, take a picture, or look at nature or even my home the same way. My vacuum was suffocating. I didn’t understand what was happening or what had happened. I felt completely lost. The catalyst was not gentle, the transformation violent.

Many months have passed now. Lots of reading, lots of talking. The sharp edges of life have started to be worn down and some of the things that were blown away in the storm are starting to return.  It was in these months of self examination and introspection that I came to understand that creativity is my heart and my soul, and I had neglected my true creative energy for a very long time. I hadn’t picked up a paintbrush in 28yrs. Sketched something for pure pleasure like I used to. Simply, let go. It’s very hard to do. It’s vulnerable. It’s laying your soul on the line, and letting others see it. Am I good? Bad? Does it matter? Shouldn’t I just do it for me? Do I need to please other people I have never met? Validation? What is it?

I would love to know what you think. What holds us back from becoming who we are? Tell me…